‘If-‘

Year 10 have been studying ‘If-‘ by Rudyard Kipling in their Literacy class. One of their assignments has been to write a parody about a topic of their choice. Here is Lucia’s amazing poem…

If you can bear 6 hours of pain in child birth
And six years of constant teenage angst
If you can be weeks only awake with mirth
Not receiving any response like ‘thanks’
If you can stand having a baby crying
Or a child screaming or a teen scowling
Or being annoyed by others criticising
Of your personal choices, for fouling

If you can change eight diapers every day
As your child changes his food preference
If you can give up your social life to play;
To be a child expert with no reference
If you can sacrifice your precious free time
To watch Peppa Pig marathons for hours
Or be worried because it’s way past bedtime
And your kid could be jumping off towers

If you can stand his annoying friend’s parties
Whilst small-talking with their nagging parents
If you can endure walls scribbled with sharpies,
And make room for swarms of birthday presents
If you can scold him for under-achieving
So that he will be able to afford clothes
If you can hold him when his heart is breaking
Because you understand more than he knows

If you can support him when he’s left alone
After he gathered the courage to be gay
If you can acknowledge when you need a loan
For those art classes he attends to pay
If you can always put a smile on your face
When he’s too sad to do it for himself
Yours is the blessing of happiness, love, grace…
And – which is more – you’ll be a mum as well!

Lucía, Year 10D